E234: The Fear of Success: How it Can Hold You Back and How to Overcome it with Olivia Gudaniec

Olivia is an actress and content creator based out of Toronto. Acting has always been a part of her life but content creation began in 2016 when Olivia started her YouTube channel (oliviag.tv). To merge the two worlds, she started her YT channel by interviewing film industry professionals. That was her way of continuing to network within the Toronto film & TV industry while highlighting the wonderful behind the scenes talent.

Since then, she's appeared on show's such as the Umbrella Academy and Sex/Life on Netflix. In the last few years, she's opened up her own media company called Olivia G Media which specializes in UGC content creation.

If you want to touch base with Olivia, you can find her on all platforms @OLIVIAGUDANIEC or find more info on her website at oliviagmedia.com

Meet Olivia

[00:54] Valerie LaVigne: Welcome back to the Women's Empowerment Podcast. Today I am joined by our very special guest. Olivia, thank you so much for being here on the podcast today.

Olivia Gudaniec: Welcome back to the Women's Empowerment Podcast. Today I am joined by our very special guest. Olivia, thank you so much for being here on the podcast today. Thanks for having me. This is my first official podcast interview slash chat, so let's see what happens.

VL: That's so exciting. I'm, I'm so glad that I get to kind of move you into this podcast world and it actually surprises me that this is your first episode because you have your own.

Show where you had your own interview show on YouTube where you were interviewing a bunch of different people. To me it's surprising that you're not on a podcast yet, but I know that you are very much in the video, film and performance type of world. I guess those are two very different things.

OG: Yeah. And I'm also very selective where I put my energy. So I did feel that you are worth it. So that's why I'm here.

VL: Oh my goodness. Well I feel even more special. So thank you so much for that. I would really love to dive into where you are now and how you got here, because I find your story very interesting and I know that the audience will love it.

So why don't you take it away?

Discovering a Hidden (Yet Common) Fear

[02:04] OG: Okay, so I've been doing a ton of spiritual work lately, a ton of self-help. I think we're both in the same vibe where we always wanna level up. And not too long ago, I had an epiphany where I was basing my job, my identity off my job. So whenever I was introducing myself, hi, I'm Olivia Gudaniec, I'm an actress.

It was so closely tied, like it's just, There's nothing else that was coming out, and don't get me wrong, like I'm in an industry where I love it. So it was so easy to fall into the work, work, work. I was working during my lunches. I was working during my off days, and it was just like this cycle of constantly, I need to do more.

I need to show up. And then I was still feeling undervalued and underappreciated. So I think that ties into like a worthiness issue, which I still have to, you know, further deep dive into. But it's with TikTok that everything kind of started coming to the surface. So I wanted to get to the next level. My TikTok has been kind of blowing up.

I've took a bit of a pause right now because I just need to like reset and I realized that people are caring about what. Tips I have because that's the value, but I don't think that they're necessarily here for me. So if I switch topics, is anyone still gonna be there? So that I think, again, goes back into the worthiness.

I have so many like lightbulb moments along the way, so our, I feel like the everything around me is reflecting how I feel inside. So what we believe is kind of like what we're expecting. That's what's showing up. So I was thinking that if I show up as my full self, is that enough to keep people's attention?

And I guess I didn't think that that's why I needed to teach. I needed to pull in that masculine energy and it kind of became a cycle of produce, shoot, batch. And I was on this like schedule, so right now I'm really trying to like balance it out with my feminine energy because that is not a good place to be in.

It did serve me well for the time being, but it's time to get into that next phase. Yeah, and I think that hard energy was making it, the masculine hard energy was making it hard for people to connect with me. This is all like, nobody's actually told me this. This is what I'm like thinking because I overanalyze everything.

And with all this craziness with work, it got to a point where I wasn't taking vacations because I was like, what if I go and I miss an opportunity? Because with acting, especially like you have to be here. Like somebody can call you tomorrow. Hey, our actor didn't show up. We need you. And I was just so scared of.

Yeah, missing that opportunity. Obviously my mindset has shifted now I've done the inner work, but if anyone is feeling like this, just know that when things fall through for you or like I've gone blank on auditions, it's because you are not ready for that next stage. What I'm trying to say is when opportunities fall through, I believe it's because we are scared on some level of the next level. And a new concept that has kind of come into my world slash sphere is the fear of success. And everyone's probably either heard of it and like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or they're like, who's scared of achieving their dreams?

But it comes down to thinking about, I guess all the negative that could happen if you achieve it, so will you have to move away from home. That has been like one of my major things, like do I wanna leave my like close-knit community? Did you just move in with your partner or ready to start a family? And this would totally like just shake things up and you'll have to delay that or maybe not have that opportunity.

So the fear of success. If opportunities are not coming through, I want you to just look into that a bit because it's all there subconsciously, and I feel like once you work it out, you won't self sabotage. So that's kind of what I'm trying to say in that little atmosphere because it's really helped me.

Yeah, just tackle a few things and I will later share some actual steps. So I've done a lot of E F T tapping, and if you don't know what that is, it's emotional freedom technique where you tap on different points of the body. I have a YouTube video with my practitioner where we kind of explain it and just, it just helps calm the nervous system.

And I feel like by sharing my backstory and all these issues around my job, I was constantly in a fight or flight mode, and I didn't even realize it. I was just like, okay, more, more. And it's exhausting. And if I did get those big auditions that fell through. All I wanted at that point was a break. And this job will not give me one.

Navigating Energetic Balance in a Go-Go-Go World

[07:33] VL: Thank you so much for sharing all this, because I know that going through. This personal development and growth with this journey. There are a lot of pains throughout it and. I know this from personal experience and I also know this from working with different women who have gone through these light bulb moments, as you say, are these epiphanies where we are so caught up in what we do, that we sort of lose sight of who we are.

And when you're in this, like you talked about the masculine and feminine energy when we're in masculine all the time, The pendulum is gonna swing the other way at some point or another. And what's the thing that's gonna break that? What's the thing that's gonna interrupt your go, go, go energy? It sounds like with you it was realizing that.

The community that you had built or the audience that you had built, would they still recognize you, support you, acknowledge you know you if you didn't talk about all the things that you were doing? And as someone who is part of your community and your audience as someone who has seen you grow.

And I remember you started your TikTok journey where you were gonna post a video a day. I loved that. I felt very inspired by your work, but I was also a little bit intimidated because I'm thinking, how does she do all of the things? And of course it's easy for someone on the outside to look in and say, oh wow, she has accomplished all of these amazing things.

And she go, go, goes and takes all this action. And I've heard it from other people to who said it to me before too, and. Your heart breaks a little bit when you say, oh my gosh. Well, sometimes it's really hard. Sometimes it feels isolating, sometimes it feels like no one's listening. You know, you get it, you've been through it.

To be able to share this backstory, I feel like is relatable for myself and I feel for the listener as well. Again, thank you so much for that. And a couple of the things that you brought up, you know, the masculine energy, the going, the. Getting held back because you're not ready for that new level.

There are so many different things that are happening and being able to navigate through. That's quite incredible. And I think what's really beautiful about what you do and who you are as a person is that you love to try different things. Even when you know you're go, go, go, you don't stop and say, oh my goodness, I need to stop everything right now and halt.

It's like, how do I take better care of myself as I up level? How do I do the inner work? And you jump into things like spirituality and personal development and you, you recognize where your energy is best spent. And that is incredible because those boundaries, I feel a lot of women lack the boundaries.

I would love to know a little bit more about how you go about which auditions you say yes to. What's going through your mind when you're signing a brand partnership, when you're invited to a podcast or an interview how? Is it that you choose? Is there a question you ask yourself?

Is there a feeling you tap into? What does, what does that boundary creating and maintaining process look like for you?

Olivia’s Process for Creating Boundaries and Honouring Excitement

[10:51] OG: Well, right now I'm trying to take responsibility for my wellbeing, first of all. So when I'm selecting things, my immediate answer is, it's either gotta be a heck yes or a heck no. If my immediate is yes, And then after I find like, oh, maybe I'm not ready. Kind of like when we tried to do this a year ago.

I'm like, what am I gonna talk about? I really wanted to do it, but you know, life always comes in in the way, but this year I figured we set the date, I wanna do it. So I pushed away all of the, maybe there's gonna be another better time. So that's what kind of drew me here. And we've been connecting throughout the year too.

I just feel like it's the right time and our energies match with auditions and brand deals. I think the last year was the first time I actually said no to some. I got offered a six month project doing a role, which would be huge for me, but it's, I didn't, I didn't wanna do it like, not because I would have to move away or anything.

I didn't. Something about it. I can't remember all the details now cause I blocked it out. Moving on to bigger and better. Right. But I, the character wasn't it, and to have to then, I don't know, it didn't feel right in the end. So without giving a 20 examples, I just said no. And I moved on. And now bigger deals are coming in more on the brand side and.

I, it is. What's funny is I've, now that I've stepped away from acting, everyone always says, let go. I didn't know how, because you have to show up in order to be considered. So now I've just like stopped pushing, like I'm not cold calling as much, and now actually things are coming to me. So it's really weird when that happens and everything's kind of falling into place.

But now my brand deals want the acting stuff related in there. And I don't really wanna talk about it right now. So it's kind of, it's very, very interesting to be in that process. So I wanted to talk about the art of letting go a little bit because if you're trying to let go of a job or relationship, a limiting belief, like even just to separate yourself a little bit, you have to find something, or at least I believe, to hold onto in the meantime.

Especially like people, whenever somebody breaks up with somebody, it's like, you gotta keep busy. You gotta keep your mind busy. Yes. But you have, I think you should do it on something you can control. So whether it's keeping busy by, for me would be creating content. Like I can control how much I produce, put out, whether it's sitting down to write a book.

Because if you're relying on somebody then to call you back for something that's. It's gonna cost some friction. So you just wanna trust the bigger picture of your life and that it's all gonna come full circle. And if things don't come to you or come to you, it's, it is meant for you. And I do believe that, and it may not make sense now, but it will later down the road.

And through all of this stuff, I discovered my love of fashion. So it's always been something I'm interested in, but I never really pursued it. And now that I could just relax on the acting front, I started to take some fashion courses and it's also helped me show up in a new way in my job because as an actor, like I don't really have a say in what I'm wearing.

I could be like pink or blue, I like this, but then they'll put me in whatever they want in the end. And now that I have the knowledge of what looks good on me, my undertones, I show up differently. To my auditions cuz I'm more conscious of color theory. It's just so fascinating. An industry that I thought would have nothing to do with acting is kind of like merging together.

So that's why I encourage anybody that kind of feels like icky energy about where they are in their job. Like what did you wanna do as a kid, maybe. Like, I'm not gonna be the next fashion designer. I mean, who knows? I'm just following the breadcrumbs. I am even taking an interior design course. Cause everyone's like, oh, your house is like pretty aesthetic.

I'm like, oh, I'm just picking and choosing. And so maybe if I fill in the knowledge gaps, like I always saw this as like scattered energy, but maybe there's just like one little lesson from that that I can take and I can move on. So that's how I'm taking it right now. I don't know if this is resonating with anybody, but if, yeah, just think about ads that come up for you.

Anything that's catching your eye and how you can kind of inject yourself in that world just a little bit. And if it turns into more, like right now I'm doing fashion courses like where they're lasting months, so like I'm really going full force into this. Yeah. And just. It's, it's an exciting part and I think I, I lost that excitement for my industry.

I think that's where I wanna tie this in a big loop. Like, you know, when you start something new, it's that beginner energy. And it's okay to, I'm not starting over, I'm still here. I just finding out what Olivia likes to do. Not Olivia, the actor, like Olivia, the person, the human being.

Actions to Take for Overcoming the Fear of Success Mindset

[15:38] VL: Yeah. I love that so much because when, especially I find in the acting community, you are stepping into all these different identities and so you don't become Olivia, you become the character, and maybe if.

You don't keep revisiting or reconnecting to Olivia the person, you know, it's easy to get lost along the way and to always be maybe like playing a part or showing up as what someone else, what the production company wants, what the director wants, what the script says, and not showing up as your own self.

So I can definitely see how that would be a challenging balance to create. I wanna touch. A little bit backwards on what you said about this fear of success and how you're working through that mindset. I love the actions that you're taking now in terms of finding out what excites you again and following the little breadcrumbs to the fashion industry and to the world of interior design.

I love these as. I think you said distract, like they kind of distract you or they're part of like what you can control, but really it's just try something different. Just start to get to know yourself. What do you love? What do you not love? And following those bits. But when it comes to the inner work, so that's what you're doing now with the, the fashion courses.

It's more of like that external work with the inner work and trying to figure out. Moving through those fears, that fear of success, the fear of moving away, some of the negative things that would come up. How are you, how are you doing this? What does that practice look like for you in that growth look like for you?

OG: For starters, I obviously made a list because I'm Type A and I went into my brain and I'm like, okay, let's work this out. And what I was scared mostly was how other people. Mainly like my relationship and my family, how they would react. And we obviously don't know, so you have to ask those people. So I asked my boyfriend, like, if I got a job in LA for two months, would you move with me?

And obviously if he said no, that would shake me to my core and I would have to do some other work. But he's like, maybe I wouldn't go for the two months, but I could come up every other weekend. And that was enough to calm me down. And same thing with my family, like whatever the worries are for you, you have to deal with answers they give you.

VL: You recognize that what, what you can control and what you cannot. And so if you're thinking, if I have to move away for two months, My whole life is gonna fall apart.

Well, that's a great idea. Ask the people in your life, Hey, would you move with me? What would you feel about this? Because then you actually know what their response might be or what maybe their thoughts are. So I think that's a really great idea, is actually just touching base with those people. And I think.

Or what I'm hearing for from a lot of what you're saying is a theme of you're checking in with yourself. When it comes to your boundaries. You're checking in with how it felt. The the list was not right for you, for that character, so you didn't do it. Same thing with the brand deals. As soon as you start stepping back and getting to know you more, invitations were coming your way.

And then again, you have this better connection with yourself, and so you're able to say yes or no. To those invitations, to those new opportunities. And that's a really incredible thing. And what's cool about what you're saying, cause I've seen this a lot, is that the hardest part is that letting go that grip.

On, on what you want or what you wanna control or what you're afraid of. And then as soon as you start loosening that grip, that's when like this space appears and this, there's this magic within that space. And so, yeah, that's a very practical thing to do is just connect with the people in your life about it.

That's awesome. And then in terms of you finding these other tools, we talked about the courses that you're taking, a little bit about the tapping that you're doing. Is there anything else that you've been doing? It sounds like a lot of self-care and taking care of you. What are some of the other things that you've been incorporating to help you connect more to you and get excited about life again?

Olivia’s List of Tools for Getting Excited About Life Again

OG: Yeah. Okay. So I've made a list so I don't forget anything. Obviously E F T, tapping, that has been a big shift in my life.

I guess overall epiphany from everything is energy, because at some point I was even comparing myself, like I can post the same content as, let's call her Olivia Jr. Here, and Olivia Junior can be taking off, and I'm here like, So I was like, what is the difference between these two people? And I think it, this Olivia, Jr.

Let's say, has a lightness about her, which allows her to connect with more people, which in turn turns into external validation. So there's like a, it's an energy that's why all the actionable steps that I'm taking now is in order for me to change my energy because. What I was doing was working to some extent, but I, I need a different vibe.

I need different opportunities now. Like I'm a new evolved person, right? So we talked about EF f t tapping. The next thing would be going to the gym. This was a healthy habit that I was trying to start for a long time. I had a call with you, Val about trying to incorporate it, and I told you that I think it was because my mom.

Wanted to get into it. So that was my like accountability buddy. And I also thought that people liked going to the gym and because I didn't like it, maybe the gym wasn't for me. I know this gym thing is like a whole process in my head and everyone's like, oh, but it's how it makes you feel after. But I don't think it resonated what that meant.

I'm like, yeah, you'll feel better. But what got me into the gym? It's obviously movement cuz my body needs it and I'm sitting at my computer a lot or doing lines or memorizing. But the main reason why I started going is to attract and change my energy. So what gets me off my butt, even after like a 16 hour day, even for five minutes, which Olivia would never do in 2022, is like if I work out, I can change the energy for tomorrow.

Maybe some. It's, it's, it's another way to attract opportunities without pushing for it. Like without creating more content, without physically, like I'm showing, I'm showing up, but for myself instead of for somebody else. Ooh, that was a good one. That was a good one. And the quote that always comes to my brain, I think it's Thomas Jefferson.

I could be wrong. If you want something you've never had, you must be willing to do something you've never done. Not that I never went to the gym before or moved my body, but I really didn't wanna go. Like, there are more productive ways to use my time. And that was my thinking for a while. Like, I can, I can walk and that's enough, but it, it's, it's different and it has been showing up in positive ways in my life.

So I'm gonna keep doing that between that and EFT next. I've mentioned this to you before, but it's just changing my routine. People like us as humans, we do not like change me for starters. So what can I do in my life on the daily that will help me just like relax when change comes? So sometimes I brush my teeth with my left hand instead of my right.

Like these are such little things, but I do them enough that it switches again. We're just switching up the energy. Seeing what's coming. We're just playing, we're building new neurons in our brain. Like I'm just trying to be somebody new, the better version of myself. What else have I done? Sometimes I wear mismatched socks because that would drive me crazy, know?

So I'm just, I'm just experimenting. On my terms. And last but not least, I haven't tried hypnosis, but it's come up enough times that I want to try it. And I left a resource with you, Val, so you can look into it. I was gonna actually do a session yesterday, but the day kind of got away from me. So if that is something that is calling to you, I would just suggest you guys YouTube it, google it, TikTok it, whatever you do.

Because I'm open to it. Maybe that'll, maybe that's what's required next at this stage. I don't know, but I wanted to bring it up in case it's in your little bubble for you to take that next leap. Have you ever tried hypnosis Val?

Decoding the Messages and Clues from the Universe

[23:40] VL: I have not, but as you're saying it, it's reminding me of how. There are so many different clues in our life or in our conversations, in our every day of the things we maybe should do.

Like I've heard about acupuncture for I, I mean, I know about acupuncture, but I've had several conversations just this week about acupuncture, and I'm thinking, do I need to try that? Is this why this keeps coming up in my life? Just like you said, look at what you're drawn to or the ads that you're getting or what you wanted to do as a kid.

Like those are the things that. Those are little messages or little clues. I know you like the 1111. You always post about that. Oh, that was gonna be another one. Oh, okay. Yeah, these are great. Keep going.

OG: Okay. So you didn't actually write down angel numbers, but I'm a huge advocate for them. And it kind of just makes me feel like I'm on the right track. So 11, 11, I make a wish. If you see one 11 sign of changes, you see 4 44 something else, 8 88. I just Google it in when I see like numbers that consistently pop up and I take it asides from the universe that I'm on the right track or I need to slow down or is just essentially affirmations.

And also, I didn't write this down, but I think. This year in itself, I've been manifesting in a different way. Like every night before bed I, okay, maybe eight days outta 10, I do this. Sometimes I forget. I write down what I wish my life was and I write it in the past tense. So I am so glad that today I got offered a $10,000 brand partnership.

I had to hire two people to help me. I'm fine. Everything's under control. The client loves it, and I kind of just bring it into my, into my universe. So if that's something you haven't tried and are willing to try it, even for like seven or 30 days with TH's Healthy Habits Challenge, I encourage you to do that because once again, we wanna attract that energy something new.

And I feel like when you start thinking about it, you kind of start maybe expecting it. Like I started. Obviously we all wanna grow our businesses. I'm like, I, I wanna hire some people. Who would I hire if I had the team right now? And so I start pulling up all of these contacts and then I did get a brand partnerships and I needed to contact them.

So I don't know if that would've happened before or if it would have, I probably would have gone into that panic mode because I wouldn't have been ready, and maybe I would've self-sabotaged, but I was ready for it. So just throwing that out there. So overall, I wanna just end with that. This is energy. I wanna leave you guys with the little exercise that I heard on another podcast, which obviously I can't remember right now.

So go through TikTok or whatever social media platform you have, cover up the likes and scroll. See after you watch a video, see if you think that's a viral video, just by the person's energy. So I tried this out the other day. I think I got like, let's say 50%, like half of them like, oh yeah, she must be doing well.

And she had like 10,000 likes. Whereas the other girl had, I mean, this is all vanity metrics, but it's interesting to see why some people blow up and others don't, and that was just like a, That was a fun little exercise and lean into your feminine energy. Like good things can still come. It's okay to change direction because it could still play into where you are now in a better way.

And what else can I leave you guys with?

Just, yeah, your subconscious is here to keep you safe, not happy.

VL: Interesting.

OG: Does that make sense?

VL: Yeah, it does.

OG: You’ll prioritize your safety over your happiness

VL: and safety. A lot of the times in the sense is staying exactly where you are, because this is what it knows and you are quote unquote comfortable here, even if you aren't. Yeah.

Mind-Blowing Manifesting Results

[27:44] OG: and safety. A lot of the times in the sense is staying exactly where you are, because this is what it knows and you are quote unquote comfortable here, even if you aren't.

Yeah. Yeah.

It's the end of the month. And just from incorporating all these new self care tactics, First of all, the goal is to just reduce your stress and anxiety and tune into you. That's why I'm doing this stuff. And the second thing is that just by playing around with this energy, and keep in mind for two weeks of January, I was also on vacation.

So I, I was in this like appreciation state. I've already hit the highest financial. Goal that I could, that I've ever had in January, and none of it came from acting. So that is like, I can't even speak like how crazy that I held onto this dream, which I'm not giving up on, but I just relaxed a bit and money's still coming, just not from that.

So I guess that's just your reminder that just to be open, open, change the energy. That's the whole message of this podcast.

VL: That is so exciting. Congratulations. Amazing. Amazing. So before we get into our rapid fire round, where can we find you? Where can we follow you? How can we support you through this journey that you're on?

YouTube: https://oliviag.tv

Website www.oliviagmedia.com

Tiktok https://tiktok.com/@oliviagudaniec

Instagram https://instagram.com/oliviagudaniec

Rapid Fire Round

[29:26] VL: Okay My dear, we are in the rapid fire round, four questions. Are you ready?

OG: mm… Okay.

VL: What are you currently reading? OR Favourite book?

OG: Not currently reading anything. Not gonna lie. I do a lot of audio books.

The last thing I listened to, I just pulled it up, was the Big Leap. But otherwise, it's a book that Val recommended and I can't remember the title.

VL: Yes, I remember that one. It's called What to Say When You Talk to Yourself and the Big Leap is also amazing. A few people are listening and, and reading that.

I love the audio book version of The Big Leap too. It's so good. Question number two is what does empowerment mean to you?

OG: Trying things when. You may not be certain of how it will go.

VL: Question number three, what is your longest standing habit?

OG: Flossing. Never miss a day.

VL: Love it. And the last question is, what are you currently working toward?

OG: I guess the gym is a new aspect, so as keeping that consistent and not getting comfortable with all the new changes and leaving that behind.

VL: Love these answers. Olivia, thank you so much for sharing so openly about the very up and down journey that you're on and the experiences that you're having. Like I said, it's really relatable. It's really interesting to hear from you in this way because as someone who follows you and have, have known you for before this, I guess beginning of the transformation.

It's interesting to see how you're evolving and I'm very excited for these next few these next few months for you. It seems like things are moving a little bit quicker, but in a new way, and it's all very exciting. I'm so happy to hear that you're embracing it and I just love being a part of it.

So thank you again so much for being on the show.

OG: Thanks for having me, Val. And yeah, let's stay positive. Let's keep the energy flowing and I hope. Like the message still got through, even though I do. I am a multi-passionate creative, so I'm scattered a lot of the times, but I come with good vibes.

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!