E215: Understanding the REAL Urgency in your Life & Business

Aashima helps women of colour founders scale their businesses using paid ads.

She’s been in the marketing industry for almost a decade; has a Bachelor of Commerce with Honors in International Economics, and post-graduate certifications in marketing management, public relations, and corporate communications.

Aashima genuinely believes that you deserve to have a life outside of your business and that spending time with your family shouldn’t hinder your company’s growth.

Over the last 2 years, she’s helped more than 100 coaches in every niche imaginable scale their businesses and buy time back into their schedules so they can enjoy their life…

[01:16] Valerie LaVigne: Welcome back to the Women's Empowerment Podcast Today I am very excited to welcome our special guest Aashima, who is such an incredible human in this online space of entrepreneurship. And what I love seeing or watching with you awesome as I kind of follow along on social media is that you lead such a full life. And this is one of the things that I find very inspiring about you is that yes, you talk about success in your business and growth and strategy and scaling. And I've done actually a few of your workshops, which have been also very valuable, very educational. And I think one of the things and, you know, correct me if I'm wrong kind of thing, but I think one of the things that makes you so successful is that you also include so much fun and travel and the things that really satisfy you or bring you joy in your life. And, you know, of course you have ups and downs in your life and business and of course you have these seasons you know like as we all go through these different cycles of those ups and downs, but yeah, just from like that outside perspective, I really see this, this abundance that you that you have in both life and business. so I just wanted to, you know, acknowledge you for that and recognize that in you because I find it very inspiring and big thank you that you're here today for the Women's Empowerment Podcast so thank you so much.

Aashima Verma: Thank you Val! I'm so excited to be here. Thank you for seeing it like I am never one to curate my feed or like to make it perfect. I just live my life and sometimes document it along the way. I am also not huge on just being on social media all the time. so if I'm having a really good day chances are it's not on social media.

I love to unplug. I love to be present. And thank you for saying that you see the abundance because like in the beginning of last year now 2022 i My business was added he around the time we had grown exponentially came I think all of the ways you can feel potentially and like what scaling comes a little bit of chaos.

So like January 2022 I was actually just revealing my year and I noticed like I booked a hotel in Niagara and like one of those like really good views and all of those things. And I specifically remember being in the bathtub and just crying because I was like I don't know what is obviously successful. I am doing the right thing I know in my gut like this makes me happy. But there's something missing and I was there with a friend and then when I got out I said okay, what's what's wrong with you? Why are you like sobbing? And I'm like, I just see I just don't know. And even though what I do is so purposeful and I'm so mission led, but I still felt this void, that something was missing. So in the beginning of 2022 I made a promise to myself that I will do all of the things like I will prioritize things that truly bring me joy and the top of the leg. It is my family. For context. My family lives in India, so they're like a 16 hour flight away from where I am. But I will probably get two or three times actually 2022 Because I was like if God has given me this life, I have the flexibility. I want to use that and sometimes we feel like, hey, we can do all the things but we just don't choose to because of this idea of urgency and I don't want to fabricate urgency where life while my favorite things I've been telling myself is that you have time and you've just given myself to the permission to be paid. And obviously I'm young, I'm 27. I wanted to travel to the UK like I love traveling. It makes me happy too. so I did that. And part of doing all of this was like it was only possible because I made a strategic difficult decision of saying no to more clients in the season when I knew I would get more clients but just q4 for me.

And you know what I When I came back a lot of my friends are like, oh my god you feel like a different human.

And that was the purpose so yeah, thank you for acknowledging it, it was done on purpose.

[06:04] VL: I'm so glad to hear that. And I think you make a lot of really amazing points. And thank you for sharing so openly because a lot of the time because most of us are very virtual, very just see that all of the online world is really curated or even when it's not curated. We're not showing every single part of your business and one of the best pieces of advice I got early in my business was never compare the front end of your business to the front end of someone else's.

And I got such a game changer and I feel like one of those really important lessons that really stuck with me over the years and I just keep reminding myself of that when you get stuck in that imposter syndrome and stuck in there like oh my goodness, why am I not scaling the way that I thought I wonder why am I not reaching my goals and all these things and you know it kind of gets us into this negative spiral so it's incredible that you were able to make those decisions and let go of that sense of urgency and let go of adding on more to your plate and just doing what feels right for you.

I know that's really difficult for a lot of people and a lot of entrepreneurs to make that decision. So, what were some of the things that helped you navigate those, those times that stress in their life.

AV: Yeah, I feel like one of the biggest things that I taught, I tried to talk about it all the time. it's just like having good support in your life. whether that's friends, whether that therapy, whether that's going to your yoga class, whether that's gym for you, whatever that looks and feels like for you. Just having that support is crucial.

It could be listening to a cool podcast like yours, but whatever makes you feel supported. I think you cannot operate in your life and business if you don't feel supported. So I am a good delegator. if I say so myself, it comes from my experience in corporate. I was a manager When I made the switch to entrepreneurship so I know how to handle teams. I actually only go to entrepreneurship on one condition and like I will only do this if I can afford it.

If not, I don't want to do it all by myself. And I am so proud of everyone who does it by themselves because I am not going to sugarcoat and no matter what they tell you it is so hard. Because you are a specialist. Usually an entrepreneur is a specialist in one thing, and then when we say oh I'm going to become a business owner, there's like 500 other categories that you're not a specialist in and you have to be a beginner again and if you have gotten to an expert level in one area, it's really hard to be a beginner and sometimes as small business owners you don't have resources to hire out or outsource right away. So it is an incredible journey and I have been very regular in my therapy.

I've been very regular with whoever like health practitioner that I'm working with for the last couple of years like I got diagnosed with PCOS. And then it was just a lifestyle change. I spoke with this Instagram influencer who's now friend and she talks about PCOS. Her name was Sena from PCOS @the.pcos.dietitian

https://instagram.com/the.pcos.dietitian?igshid=MWI4MTIyMDE=

She told me. “Don't let PCOS be your entire identity” and I think that is so true because when it comes to like any sort of chronic illness it's so overwhelming because we live it every day. Right so for me it was just like a huge like even when I was hired out a personal trainer or even if I was hiring that like no matter who I was working with I was like oh they need to have this special to your you know and and then there came a point where like spoke to my mom like they said she thought adding more stress to my life. Like I commented to this I feel like things are getting worse. Especially when I started focusing on it. And then she like got me in touch with this ayurvedic practitioner, and I'm just working with someone now who understands my body and does it in a very easy and holistic way. I think I've learned how to be an advocate for my health and do what feels good versus listen to 100 other people on the internet and don't try to do everything. So being very selective would be with who I let taken like help me with my health. Really saving that's like that's been my major mental health, physical health and then I feel like once I have some sort of lens I feel good and now that's when I can focus on my work and my business. And I think stealing bag is a very difficult strategic decision because i Everyone during this like hitting a million and then you do the math like hey, my offer is this much divided by a million. I just need 25 people even though that's true, and if you have the capacity, you should definitely go for it. For me. I knew that my capacity honestly allows me to check 12 people in a year. And I and I did have I do have demand of people who want to work with me. So I I increased my price and it was scary. And I always wanted to do it in a way where the value matches the price tag. So it was a very careful decision and just scary honestly to be like nah, I will not work with these type of clients. So just being super selective can feel super scary and you will hit a dip in your revenue too because you're making such a transition in your business. So obviously I've gone through it one time going through it again this year, just the end like for the new year. my goal is to work with more corporations or growing companies because that support the lifestyle that I want to live.

[12:24] VL: But yeah, that's so exciting, like so many things. So many changes so many, I guess, decisions that you made, like you've been so supportive to your own health and I love how I think in each of these scenarios, what you're really do is taking a moment and finding some stillness, and asking yourself what you really want, what you really need, and then moving forward in that decision and not just reacting to things, but responding to what makes the most sense for you. And you know, we live in such a fast paced world and you'd mentioned urgency earlier and it's like, I don't know who put those expectation on us to reply to every way or to every opportunity or whatever every contract and, you know, I myself even made a difficult decision. to not renew a contract with someone that I was working with. and at first I was like, oh, yeah, that sounds exciting. and then when I really sat did what you did.

Is not the right time for this partnership or this contract. And it feels really scary. It feels really tough, but I also think I think there's also this sense of relief when you do make the right decision. And it's like, you just have to take that little leap and then it's like, you can breathe again.

Yeah, that shows up so much. I feel like so many things you were saying like hiring a team and not doing it on your own. I am very much someone who is very dependent and likes to do things my way but I'm not an expert at everything. And I actually run two businesses. One of them I have a team and the other one I find myself and the one that I have a team with is scaling so much faster than the one that I'm doing about myself with but if I actually sit down and take the time to recognize I'm like, Okay, here we go. So you're giving me so many ideas, and I'm like, Oh, my God. She's calling me out right now.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, absolutely. It's, it's pretty. It's pretty cool. I mean, there's so many different phases of entrepreneurship and business ownership. And as you start to grow, it's like there's this new challenge of the next level, and you're like, Oh, I just climbed a whole entire flight of stairs. and then oh, my god, wait, there's another one. and there's another one. and I love that what you're saying is like throughout the journey you're checking in throughout the journey you're consistent with your therapies. Our support teams.

And I love that what you're saying is like throughout the journey you're checking in throughout the journey you're consistent with your therapies, our support teams, and I love that you found someone to to help you with everything, which like, is huge because you really want to be able to trust somebody. And then the other thing I wanted to circle back on with you, is that what you talked about in like not identifying as the mental health or the physical health or the like, I don't want to call it like your shoe or the challenge but not identifying as yourself as something maybe on like a spectrum of things. And it's so funny that you say this because if you want to make a new habit, you need to identify as a person who identifies as that habit.

And it's so funny that you say this because if you want to make a new habit, you need to identify as a person who does anything just telling you, okay, the same is what we do and we identify as like the negative part of it. So it's really about flipping that script. So for example, I I share this with people It sounds kind of gross, but I used to hate flossing my teeth like I just I don't know, I didn't even hate it that much. I just didn't do it. And I did it like once a week, which is so gross that I hate admitting that but it was true.

I just flipped one thing and I just said I am a person who flosses. Everything changed, everything changed. I floss every single night without fail. If I forget, I get back up out of bed and I go floss my teeth because I am a person who flosses and it's a huge it's such a small thing, but I don't think a lot of people recognize what their languaging every single day and even just the thoughts not even having to say it out loud. but just the thoughts that we have are so impactful on how we move into the world and how we like to see other people or see the world itself. So is there anything that you like tell yourself or do like journal about or annoy us weren't affirmation, but you know what I mean is there something like a script in your mind that you use when you're stepping into these like new levels and when you're scaling to the next bit of your, your business, what is what is what are the thoughts on what does the speech of the language the Aashima and says?

AV: I always have posted now just depending on like what see there I'm in currently because again, it's starting up a new season, and I loved how you talked about like the script like I am that person. I I think I am working with a coach to who I am like I have never invested in mindset coaching like this before. I feel like when I started last year I because I was going through all of those feelings. You know just date I created a very low key vision board. No real, real photos. It just worked for both like what I want in my life. And I wrote three big words very simple and I wrote home I wanted to buy my own home I said happiness. I wanted to be a little more happy. I have more joy and then I wrote health. I didn't mention work because of the sentiment I had towards work at the time. I just like that I'll figure it out. And I wanted to prioritize these two things and under and like one of those scribbles was. I love doing little wifey thing.

I didn't cook, I have a cleaning company. I source my meals like I was that person because again so go go go I didn't have time. I genuinely think it's a real thing. I did not have time. And it's a very, it's a beautiful technique. I actually recommend hiring within your home before your business. Again, it all comes down to how do you feel supported? Because I didn't have those skills for the home things I was like this needs to be delegated first. So while I did that, I also during the year I was also seeking a partnership and I was seeking a person in my head. I'm like dreaming about this person. I'm like, they also have a job and potentially if they're going to be my partner like I also have to come in my 50% and a part of that 50% For me looks like that. I also know how to like to do things around the house a little bit especially if I went to live with someone. So it's like my friends laugh at this like two versions of me because like, like when it comes to business. I genuinely like to feel really confident in tackling almost everything. And then it comes to like house things and like regular chores and I'm like I don't know how to chop this properly. But like last year, I just like wrote, like I love to do the little Wi Fi thing. They love to make these quick meals at home. And it's so interesting. So, like I came back in December and I saw myself cooking and I found myself doing those little things. I care about my home field. I still have the cleaning company. I still have my HelloFresh coming in, but I cook those myself. And it's something flipped because I don't really know I did it wasn't like gradual increment. Now for me just like I came back from this lovely trip and I finally had the mental capacity and I have the time.

Honestly, it feels really good to wind down after five o'clock and cook my own dinner. It feels really good to just like the clutter and I added all and I genuinely in hindsight I feel it's only, it was possible.

It's not that I couldn't because clear I'm cleaning I'm very clear. I'm like no do not love this. This will still be a cooking day bring me joy and now it's like my habits but and I never thought I'd be that person but I like you know have that seed. I planted that seed earlier and by the end.

I don't know, it happened but it did. So. Yeah, that identity shift is amazing. and the thing about negative things is that or not even negative. I say it with air quotes, “negative” but it's just when you focus on those things. It gets you into victim mode.

You know and you start comparing you're like you start feeling entitled in some ways, and I just, I, I always want to feel empowered. I don't want to go into that state where I can't do anything about things. So, yeah, sorry I totally forgot the question. What was it?

[21:47] VL: Yeah, no, that's perfect. It was about what? What are you thinking? Or What are you telling yourself or what is the script which you definitely shared with us? That's so cool that you did that practice at the beginning of the year and it just kind of happened organically. It seemed like or, like you said, you just kept coming back to that mental space. And, you know, this is such an important reminder or even just maybe someone is hearing this for the first time and thinking like, oh my god, I'm so stressed out about not focusing on my mental and emotional health and I mean, as you're sharing these stories, I'm recognizing this in my own life as well as how whenever I focus on my own health and wellness, everything else including my business, my relationships and my like my output from my work and how I show up and that space is so much more whole. And you know, the first time I kind of heard a story about this was years ago, someone was saying, I delegated a bunch of tasks that needed to be done, and then every day for what this person did was commit to something with self care. so it was like a one hour massage one day and the next day it was like taking a long bubble bath. and I'm thinking, how do you have the time to just because it's not really a one hour massage, you're driving to the resort and you're driving to the spa. you're getting you don't.

Being able to turn on vacation, tomorrow I leave, and I'm thinking to myself, am I okay to turn off the workload to settle it and it's going to take at least a day to transition to that sometimes.

I'm getting better at relaxing, but you know, it sounds scary because you're like, but I have to keep doing. I can't stop. I can't take breaks. I can't quit and it's like you're not quitting you're fueling yourself. You're filling your cup, so that you can scale so that you can shine the brightest. and, man, I feel like I wish I took that more seriously when I started.

It's the new year. We can do it today!

What's one thing the listener can take away today like what's one thing that we could do right after we finished that will help set ourselves up for this year, mentally and emotionally?

AV: I feel like within this like near your spirit, setting goals and all of those things I keep coming back to this thing where like so much talking about rest and maintenance, right? It's so hard.

I will not be working but my brain is thinking of 1 million things like technically I'm watching TV but it's also doing something else. So it's been a real struggle and the emotion that comes up for me is guilt. I feel guilty of not working. I feel guilty of not showing up at 100 I feel I feel like I am taking away from my work when I give time to other things including so it's a work in progress for me and I like to be honest about it because we live in this productivity era. And I'm all about it and I consider myself a productive but it's hard to turn that to a job it's hard to just feel like I don't want to rest because that helped my business I want to rest because I want to I want to do travel because I want to write so. i i just i Everyone has affirmation that I'm so glad you asked that question. But the thing about those words is like sometimes like I when I started I used to I am abundant. And then I would like these things in small, but me and no way i i have the term. She's like seven figures and beyond lovely person just like living and preaching what she, you know, like what she talks about? And she said I make money while I sleep. And I was like in full honesty. I do not believe that right now. Like I can repeat that to myself if I don't believe in it. 100 And like I can tell the Yeah, for myself. I prefer other than that it's not true. Right now. And then she said one of the things I think I've ever heard she said what can you get your energy which is like it's easier to believe and what I couldn't get my energy behind was like I take breaks when my body is in overdrive.

I choose to take breaks when I feel tired. I do not power.

I take breaks and like I come back.

And I think when you're choosing your words or like when you're choosing to do things to yourself at the end of the day the goal is to be more gentle towards yourself. Like why do you want to be this mean person?

Ourselves, right? So I My goal is to have like my my goal is that the voice is quiet kinder and more gentle towards myself. And I have this sticky note which, like, pasted on my desktop and everything will work out. Get you a recipe for water that is very simple.

And I think that is the key when choosing some words When we're choosing words to guide us.

It's so funny because like in 2020 My posted used to say pressure as a privilege.

Right? That was where my mind was and I still agree pressure is a privilege but I don't resonate with that as well. It doesn't say that that season in my life. So you when you choose words, you have to believe that

Something that one thing The one thing that the listener can do today.

I think just every time you feel stressed and every time you feel like you're behind, every time you feel like you're spiraling and someone is doing better than us. Just take a deep breath and like step outside even if it's just like literally outside the door, just like get out. Physical location has energy in and with the home office lives like it's really hard to get out of that zone and I highly highly recommend just getting outside, getting nature, getting outside for a walk. and you don't have to be like hell to agree with you on these things. These are just little steps and little habits. like in the heart. it's almost like learning how to breathe again. You know? so, like it's a little thing but I don't believe that it's like the number one hacks or anything, just like it's a lifestyle thing.

Yeah, whatever makes you feel, feel like you could, whatever feels like hey, this is something my best friend would do for me right now. Do that for yourself.

[29:48] VL: Oh, that's so good I love it! Oh my gosh, I love everything you're saying. I think that's really important. it's especially the way we talk to ourselves or the way that we view things like there are times of business where we need to reflect and say like okay, this is what's working. this is what's not working, the leads of judgment out of that. you know, it needs to be like you said, What would you say to your best friend, you're not gonna lie to them. you're gonna be honest and you're gonna be loving and caring and I always say the most important relationship you have in this world is the one you have with yourself because that's who you are with at the end of the day.

And so you really have to love that person. You have to love yourself. That could mean going to therapy, it could be working out. It could be getting that fresh air. It could be hiring a team or delegating your tasks. And you've touched on so many things and so many actionable steps that people can do that are so simple. And love what you and your coach said about, you know, what, can you get your energy behind? What's something true for you? And really is that starting point of that feeling of what you want to embody what you want to identify as, And you just grow from there. those little tiny things. It is a lifestyle, I think, of choosing entrepreneurship. You have to understand that.

No, you don't really stop but you're the one who makes the choices and you can choose And I think we can both agree that we believe highly recommend choosing taking breaks and prioritizing rest and prioritizing the health because really, like if you don't have your health if you're sick all the time or if you're rundown or burnt out or feel too much pressure. What use are you going to be or how expertise are you going to be in your field ? So many good things.

Before we get into the final rapid fire round of today's show is there anything that hasn't been said that you really want to share?

AV: I think in the beginning of the podcast we talked about urgency, and how I don't think that there's urgency in my business, or like in my work like in my career. I feel like I have time to show the world other people love it and just not that I am very ambitious. I just given myself time to do all those things, and it feels better.

That being said, I, I realized the real urgency in their life. It exists with people.

I chose to travel to India because I realized, hey, my parents are getting older. You know, and it's a reality for a lot of millennials and I know they're the things that do have an expiry date and urgency. So choose what you feel like it's urgent for you like you're, you know, the whole concept of glass balls and plastic balls like things that can bounce bounce up. Some things cannot. So, your health, like sometimes you have a health condition that you cannot reverse all the time. There's multiple health but health family, those things are top priority for me because those are actually urgent and we just like we have this list of urgency all flipped over, and that's not, that's not good for you or anyone, though. Yeah, I just wanted to share that.

[33:35] VL: That's perfect and I think that's another great action is really recognizing what our priority is and recognizing that family does come first. Certainly for me, like I spend a lot of time but I choose to do that right and I understand what you're saying about the urgency. My parents, my grandparents. So that's really great. I'm glad that you mentioned.

So, my darling. Where can we find you. Where can we follow you, how can we support your business?

Website: https://www.aashimaverma.com/

LinkedIn: https://ca.linkedin.com/in/aashima-verma

Instagram: https://instagram.com/theaashimaverma?igshid=MWI4MTIyMDE=

RAPID FIRE ROUND

1. What are you currently reading? OR favourite book?

AV: I actually watched the woman cake yesterday and Viola Davis's memoir, “Finding Me” something along those lines.

2. What does “empowerment” mean to you?

AV: Empowerment means… It means taking responsibility for everything that happens to you just literally Yeah, taking responsibility, why when I feel responsible for whatever happens to work for me. I feel empowered because I feel empowered to change the situation or tainted outcome.

3. What is your longest standing habit?

AV: I think I have my sleep routine. But I've struggled with sleep. My entire adult life that I did say no fine before sleeping and like a rational person to do my skin care. and I have my sleep music so that's like the whole streets of habit, but to sleep.

4. What are you currently working toward?

AV: Currently I am. as I mentioned, I'm in this huge transition or that's what it feels like working with selective clients that are that are growing exponentially, but not scaling sustainably. So that's what I'm working towards: just find those people and focusing, you know, and helping them be sustainable so that they can truly have a life outside of their work.

[37:17] VL: That sounds so amazing. And I'm so excited for this transition in your life. I know you're going to be doing so many amazing things for some really incredible people because that's who you are. And that's what you do. And I wanted to say thank you so much again for being on the podcast. It's been so lovely. chatting with you. It's a pleasure to have you. And I just again, I want to recognize that you are an incredible inspiration and very educational person in this virtual world. I know we have a lot of mutual friends and connections and I think that we would all agree when I say that You really know how to hold space for other people and lead by example in your work and in your life and we're all I'm for sure very grateful.

Aww, I do try. And yeah, if I can do it I know other people can too. I don't believe in gatekeeping, this is lovely to hear. Thank you.

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!